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Tuesday, 05 August 2003

Somebody shoot bad reporters, please

The Times is wonderful. In an article about instant messaging and its impact upon language evolution:

The measured era of "Dear Sir" and "good morning" has fallen to "g'day", "hola", "easy tiger" and "wassup". We no longer remain, sir, your most humble and obedient servant; we sign off with "hasta la vista", "adios", "catch ya" or "check ya".
Dinosaurs need to know what we are talking about here: instant messaging over the internet, which is said to be even faster than e-mail. Britons now apparently send 43 million of these speedy billets-doux to each other every day, whether for the purposes of romance, commerce or sheer mindless drivel. [more]

Well, well. "Instant messaging over the internet, [which] is said to be even faster than e-mail". This kind of phrasing evokes to me the drunk guy down the pub who's lolling against the wall and tries to tell anyone fool sauntering up to him that "instant messaging is faster than e-mail". It's just a rumour. Nothing substantiated, of course. And the name's just a misnomer. It's hardly instant at all. Everyone knows an instant message commonly arrives after an e-mail sent at the same time. Why, you're better off writing your message out with a quill on parchment and sending it off with a solid, dependable pony than use this instant messaging lark.

Presumably the journalist (some of whom are said to be at least an order of magnitude slower than email) was thinking "Well, I asked around, and some people said it was faster than email, some people said it was slower. To be honest, I don't really understand this computer lark, our readers won't either, it looks like my editors won't, so hey, let's just write any old crap."

Idiots.

I'd better stop telling people to IM me if they want a quick response. There's no telling on when the message might get to me.

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