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Tuesday, 01 July 2003

How I Learned To Stop Worrying... And Then Start Again

I seem to be having trouble sleeping. Recently, I haven't been able to get to sleep until some ungodly hour in the morning (clues: birds singing and the ability to see everything in the bedroom without turning on a light). To be honest, though, I'm not exactly sure what an ungodly hour would be: seeing as you'd expect a respectable god to posses the triple qualities of omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotency, it's not clear that there would be some sort of hour--or even a range of hours--in which such a god's abilities were handicapped in the slightest. At least, she wouldn't be much of a god in my book.

Part of the reason for my late losing of consciousness probably haa something to do with restlessness that was manifesting itself in a complete inability to stay still for more than a few seconds at a time. There's some evidence that all this insomnia is due to some distant relative of stress, namely the wonderful dreams about my teeth shattering and into tiny shards in my blood-filled mouth.

Without further ado: Things That Have Been On My Mind Lately, or, I Wish I Could Stop Worrying About Some Of These Things.

  • Dates. For example: The Date On Which I Start Work At Half Past Nine In The Morning. After a few years shy of two decades in full time education (highlights: crazy nuns with a penchant for decrying digital watches as an abomination upon mankind, smashing lego cars in the playground, hilariously non-productive chemistry practicals), I'm finally about to start contributing to the economy instead of sucking up all my dear readers' tax contributions. This new intrusion on my life will involve such novelties as some sort of daily structure and wearing a suit for inordinate amounts of time, something that hasn't happened since I've been in school. At least this time I'll be paid for it.
  • Dates, Part Two. I'm halfway through buying an apartment. It's been brought to my attention by a number of friends that dealing with property is one of the most stressful things that can happen to you, aside from getting married or death, the latter of which I presume referring to the act happening to someone close to you, as opposed to yourself. If I were being honest, I'd imagine that dying in the midst of a property transaction would be somewhat relaxing--apart from the whole being dead part. Back to the apartment buying - being roughly halfway through means that it's already far too late to back out, and yet in plain sight is the date at which I'll hopefully be getting keys and inviting a truckload of sweaty men to carry boxes into various rooms.
  • Oh. My. God. Someone's going to die in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Oh, wait. I'm not actually bothered about this at all.
  • Dates, The Other Kind. None of your business.
  • More Apartment. A short piece of thirty words, to be read while reading a credit card statement and/or while negotiating an overdraft or credit limit increase (or, How To Throw Off Google's Scent): washer/dryer, fridge/freezer, sofa, dining table, chairs, bookshelves, broadband, wireless router, extension cables, bed, television, desk, vacuum cleaner, cooker, wardrobe, movers, coffee table, coffee, television, gas, water, electricity, cable.
  • Cats. Cats are weird. Especially the licking themselves part. Especially when you have to chase one around the house at least three times alternating clockwise and anti-clockwise directions just to get near enough to her to feed her.
  • Dissertation. Just because, really. It's not as if there's actually any reason to worry, it's just so easy to.
  • The Apartment's Kitchen. Let it be noted that at three o'clock in the morning, importance of the following inflates to ridiculous proportions: the cooker (where will it go? Will it fit? Should I get a new one? Can I even afford a new one? Will they take the old one away? Gas? Electric? Both? Is there even a gas line passing within at least five meters of the cooker in the first place?), the washer/dryer (was that really a hole for the washing machine, or was it a hole for a dishwasher? What of the curious lack of any visible plumbing whatsoever? Surely the previous inhabitants didn't just leave a gaping hole next to the sink? If they did, what possible use could a big gaping hole next to the sink have?) and the the colour (Yellow?)
  • SMART hard drives. Who'd have thought, eh? Last time a drive failed on me it wasn't polite about it at all. Didn't even tell inform me of its intentions to just suddenly stop working, it just went ahead and did it. They seem to be much more civil about it nowadays, giving you opportunity to panic and break out into a sweat before you even lose any data. Of course, now I have to go get a new one.
  • That Damn Apartment. Sorry, did I mention that already?

3 comments and trackbacks

Seems to me that an "ungodly" hour is one in which you wake up and realize that if God is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient, then he is also really mean and perverted...

Posted by: Brad DeLong on July 2, 2003 03:29 AM

You forgot to worry about the bunnies....

Posted by: Amber on July 2, 2003 01:06 PM

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